An embarrassment of riches (journal kept by 14-year-old me discovered by my Mama)

16 Jan

My mom found a notebook that I used when I went to a writers’ camp at UVa back in 1985 or so. I was 14. And clearly unhappy: “I want to go home. Only 4 more days left!” Hmmm.

The writing is just absolutely atrocious, including this bizarro poem:

A Day at Kroger’s

My eye caught a jar of pig’s tongue
And Alex the Kroger Man noted with cynicism
That the tongue over pastrami would enhance
Your taste buds like Crispy Cereal Snacks. I
Hunted for the suggested cereal but found Mr. Bubble
The bath salts that leave one feeling sagordantly.
Still hunting for the cereal, I found these incredible
Pickles among the Kroger Graffiti Candy.
Forever hunting, a man from Zen Folks’
Circular Church asked me for a donation.
“Listen,” I said, “This place is Kroger’s. It’s
no place to ask for moo-la.” He left & Mrs. Terwilliger
The crazy woman from the Toy Shop approached
and offered me a peppermint candy.
I hate peppermint, but politeness forced me
To accept with charrin.

Sagordantly? What? Charrin? What what?

There’s much, much more. All of it rotten!

3 Responses to “An embarrassment of riches (journal kept by 14-year-old me discovered by my Mama)”

  1. drgeek January 16, 2013 at 1:34 am #

    Perhaps “charrin” was supposed to be “chagrin”?

  2. Kenneth A. Jones January 16, 2013 at 1:40 am #

    Wonderful post. Moms are great. Perhaps you were referring to Charmin bathroom tissue in tne last line? :-).

    • Cece Bell January 16, 2013 at 1:47 am #

      Charmin works for me! But I think drgeekphd was probably right — maybe the word I was searching for was “chagrin.” That doesn’t make it any better! Ha ha ho.

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