My mom found a notebook that I used when I went to a writers’ camp at UVa back in 1985 or so. I was 14. And clearly unhappy: “I want to go home. Only 4 more days left!” Hmmm.
The writing is just absolutely atrocious, including this bizarro poem:
A Day at Kroger’s
My eye caught a jar of pig’s tongue
And Alex the Kroger Man noted with cynicism
That the tongue over pastrami would enhance
Your taste buds like Crispy Cereal Snacks. I
Hunted for the suggested cereal but found Mr. Bubble
The bath salts that leave one feeling sagordantly.
Still hunting for the cereal, I found these incredible
Pickles among the Kroger Graffiti Candy.
Forever hunting, a man from Zen Folks’
Circular Church asked me for a donation.
“Listen,” I said, “This place is Kroger’s. It’s
no place to ask for moo-la.” He left & Mrs. Terwilliger
The crazy woman from the Toy Shop approached
and offered me a peppermint candy.
I hate peppermint, but politeness forced me
To accept with charrin.
Sagordantly? What? Charrin? What what?
There’s much, much more. All of it rotten!
Perhaps “charrin” was supposed to be “chagrin”?
Wonderful post. Moms are great. Perhaps you were referring to Charmin bathroom tissue in tne last line? :-).
Charmin works for me! But I think drgeekphd was probably right — maybe the word I was searching for was “chagrin.” That doesn’t make it any better! Ha ha ho.